Saturday, July 31, 2010

Dirty Laser Games?

I don't know what Photon Technologies had in mind when the company placed this tiny ad in the back pages of Electronic Games magazine, but the words designed to draw the most attention probably attracted the wrong audience:

It's not actually an ad for games of the X-rated variety, see; the DIRTY GAMES so prominently referred to are likely ordinary cartridges, corroded and dusted and clogged with fuzzballs of indeterminate origin from the rec room floor.

The ad doesn't provide much actual information about the company's Laser Cleaning System, beyond the fact that it costs $9.00, plus $3.00 for shipping and handling, which circa 1983 makes it highly unlikely that any actual lasers are involved.  All we are really told about the product is that It Works! Others Don't.

Which others, and in what manner they fail to work, remains suspiciously open-ended.  I can certainly think of a few that would qualify -- the New Mexico Landfill Long-Term Sanitization Process, perhaps, or M. Higby and Sons' All-Purpose Patented Royal Chocolate Pudding and Tuna Fish Cartridge Scouring Regimen.  But these are not actual products.

Take that, you dirty games.  You dirty, dirty games.

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