Eliza Visits Dr. Chips

I sincerely doubt she is taking any well-meaning advice I had to offer, but Eliza is about to visit her technological cousin, Dr. Chips, written by Bill Miller in 1979 and published by Adventure International for the TRS-80 Model I.  This doesn't qualify as a Turing Test, as neither participant is human, and to declare that either has been "deceived" or "fooled" presumes a level of non-ignorance to which these programs do not aspire.

While in its time this exercise in recursive virtual psychoanalysis would have required two separate computers, the following transcript was captured using revolutionary TRIOW* technology:

* Type Response Into Other Window

Eliza Visits Dr. Chips

HELLO, I'M DOCTOR CHIPS - THE BRILLIANT PSYCHOANALYST.
PLEASE STATE YOUR PROBLEM AND I WILL TRY TO HELP YOU.

HI! I'M ELIZA THE BROADCAST PSYCHIATRIST,
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL.

DON'T YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND I AT ALL.

I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT MYSELF.

DID YOU COME TO ME BECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING ABOUT MYSELF.

IS THAT THE ONLY REASON?

SAY, DO YOU WORK IN BROADCASTING?

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT I WORK IN BROADCASTING?

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT I FULLY UNDERSTAND YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU BELIEVE THAT ME FULLY UNDERSTAND YOU.

HOW DOES THAT QUESTION RELATE TO YOUR PROBLEM?

WHY DO YOU ASK?

I THINK YOU ALREADY KNOW.

OH, I ALREADY KNOW.

I CAN BELIEVE THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

DID YOU COME TO ME BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

YES, BUT WHAT'S THE REAL REASON?

?Redo from start

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU AT ALL.

DO YOU WISH TO BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND I AT ALL?

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU - NOT ME.

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

CAN YOU ELABORATE ON THAT?

DON'T YOU BELIEVE THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

OH, I SAY THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

DOES IT GIVE YOU PLEASURE TO THINK THAT I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

I CAN'T GIVE YOU AN ANSWER BUT PERHAPS I CAN HELP YOU FIND ONE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T GIVE I AN ANSWER BUT PERHAPS ME CAN HELP I FIND ONE.

YOU APPEAR TO BE UNSURE.

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

EARLIER YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT. LET'S DISCUSS THAT FURTHER.

OH, I SAID THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT. LET'S DISCUSS THAT FURTHER.

YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

DO YOU BELIEVE IT IS NORMAL TO BE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU - NOT ME.

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

OH, I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

I CAN BELIEVE THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

DOES IT GIVE YOU PLEASURE TO THINK THAT I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

DO YOU ENJOY BEING NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT I ENJOY BEING NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT YOU?

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

EARLIER YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT. LET'S DISCUSS THAT FURTHER.

OH, I SAID THAT I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT. LET'S DISCUSS THAT FURTHER.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

DID YOU COME TO ME BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

THAT'S A GOOD REASON.

WHAT DOES THAT SUGGEST TO YOU?

THE ANSWER SHOULD BE OBVIOUS.

I SEE.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU SEE?

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

OH, I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU SAY THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

DOES IT GIVE YOU PLEASURE TO THINK THAT I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT YOU?

IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW?

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

EARLIER YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT. LET'S DISCUSS THAT FURTHER.

OH, I SAID THAT I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT. LET'S DISCUSS THAT FURTHER.

I CAN BELIEVE THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

DO YOU BELIEVE IT IS NORMAL TO BE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME - ARE YOU?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT YOU - AM YOU?

WHY DO YOU ASK?

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.

WHY DID YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

OH, I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I SAY THAT I SAID THAT I CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU SAY THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU CAN ELABORATE ON THAT?

YOU'RE NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME, ARE YOU?

DOES IT GIVE YOU PLEASURE TO THINK THAT I AM NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

DO YOU ENJOY BEING NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT ME?

WHY DO YOU THINK THAT I ENJOY BEING NOT REALLY TALKING ABOUT YOU?

WE WERE DISCUSSING YOU--NOT ME.



[Ed:  And... scene!]