List Your Enemies! Now Make Them Play Shaq-Fu!

I've written previously about the odd basketball idol fighting game Shaq-Fu, but recently ran across this even more bizarre pre-release magazine ad for the game:

Why, exactly?  In what bizarre universe did kids make an enemies list, pray, and then do something undefined regarding Shaq-Fu?   This open-ended suggestion would never fly today; even attempting the first step is likely to create a heap of trouble in this post-Columbine era.

I suspect the idea was to list some despicable lowlifes, i.e. your neighborhood bully and your geography teacher, so you could imagine beating them up as the powerful, virile, rich and eloquent Shaquille O'Neal after picking up your copy of Shaq-Fu on October 28th.

But now that we've all seen the finished game, the lingering impression here is that, deities willing, they're all going to be stuck playing Shaq-Fu.

Or that would be the case, if not for the frustratingly inconsistent pronouns.  YOU'LL GET YOURS, indeed.  But it's not really clear what's going to happen to THEM.