Sunday, January 9, 2011

They've Got The President. You've Got... Bad Dudes.

I think this ad tagline is meant to communicate that the Bad Dudes are entirely capable of rescuing the President.  But it doesn't quite read that way:

I can't think of too many real-world situations where Bad Dudes would be more useful than the President, but I guess I'll have to make do.

Data East's arcade beat-'em-up game Bad Dudes vs. Dragon Ninja has a certain degree of cheesy charm about it, but the concept never sounds so ludicrous as it does when it's spelled out in black and white, as in this ad for the home computer conversions.  We are informed that the villains are "intent on serious crime," as though crime were their goal in and of itself, and that what they plan to do with the President "isn't pretty."  So apparently there are no ransom or other specific political demands involved; these guys are just so evil that they want to kidnap the President and, I dunno, make him prance around in support hose and a Carmen Miranda hat on national television.

The ad also indicates that we will be "dishing out the BAD DUDES' own version of the criminal justice system," which as far as I can tell requires no judge or jury, and consists simply of summary execution of every person they meet.

Fortunately, the opposition is fairly incompetent.  Notice how the foreground Ninja is armed with a sword that should have given him a superior attack range, yet he is somehow already helpless in the two-fisted grip of Striker (or Blade, the Dudes look identical.)

Man, what's with this itching?  Uh-oh.  I think I've got...

Bad Dudes.


  1. This game was sort of a joke when I was in school. We would talk about how lame it was, and then play Double Dragon instead.

  2. Dragon Ninja is my favourite retro beat'em up along with Die Hard Arcade. Even now I enjoy it in comparison with other "classic" beat'em ups.